It took me a while to form a definitive answer to this…

As a teenager, I would have been mortified and left home…I would not have been welcome

due to disgracing the family…that was plainly spoken as a given and a terrifying thought.

I would look at other families, that got over the shock, made some plans together, but the girl

that was pregnant was still loved and accepted as a member of the family.

When I was in nursing school, there was a lady patient in the psych hospital that totally lost all reality when she became pregnant and had an abortion…it was so sad.  She could not accept the pregnancy happened, nor that she had an abortion.  That memory of caring for her has stayed with me all these years.

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When I was of child bearing age, I new that I would not have an abortion…I felt that I never could get over it if I did.  But my thoughts were still base on feelings, not facts as I understood them.

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As the years went on, first I decided that there were not illegitimate children,  if anyone would be illegitimate, it would be the parents.  The stigma of being called illegitimate seemed wrong and hateful and harming to a child, who wouldn’t understand what the meaning was of the word, just that it reflected bad on them, even tho all they did was be born.

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There came a time, when I believed that medically and spiritually, when a child is conceived it is a living spirit.  And as years go on, earlier and earlier the new monitors show heart beats, body language, and signs that this is a living spirit…even if it is not viable outside the mother’s body.

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Therefore, I believe that if I were of child bearing age, I would at the least carry the baby to term.  The later decision that is more heart wrenching is whether to give the baby to another woman who has the means to care for it financially…or struggle to keep the baby and raise it myself.

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