30 Days of Truth…
Starting July 1, 2011 and ending July 30, 2011
Day 30 – A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.
To the Self that Dwells Within,
What are the things I love that make me who I am?
I try to live a life that follows my value and belief systems.
I try to live a life that advocates for those who are not able to speak for themselves.
This is a learned response since I was brought up not to “make a scene” or “draw attention”
to myself. There are times to speak out and times to be silent and not interfere.
It is an ongoing process and I hope I continue to grow in this area.
I am persistent…much to the annoyance of many.
(Two bosses, two husbands have used this adjective to describe me.)
Persistence means I don’t give up if I think I am right or a wrong has reared it’s ugly head.
I am loyal. (To a fault…that part I don’t like…
I don’t give up on people who I think have best intentions
when in reality they don’t,)
It is better to make a “mistake being loyal than to turn on a misunderstood friend.
I am a hard worker…and a perfectionist. Do it correctly or not at all.
Do not compromise one’s values to meet unreasonable requests or deadlines
..shortcuts never produce excellence.
When I was a student nurse,
I over heard an instructor say to one of my classmates
who had charted a blood pressure she had not taken correctly:
“If you don’t have time to do it correctly the first time,
WHEN ARE you going to have the time?”
I am curious. There was a time I wondered how people knew what questions to ask,
how DO they KNOW.
I was brought up to accept without question what ever my parents
and others in their families taught me about life and the world.
It carried over to school and work at an early age.
Teach me well, for I will do what ever it is exactly how you taught me
…no free-styling from me.
I was in awe of people who seemed to know just the questions that I would have had
if I could have thought of them.
I hope now, I am one of the people who ask THE questions that others wish they could ask.
I was in awe of people who knew how to question and argue, and make decisions for themselves.
That I over came that, is what I like about myself.
I share what I know. Why keep knowledge and life experience to oneself
when you can help others with life or work and make things easier for them.
I am able to understand and communicate with the confused, demented and bewildered,
be it from aging, injury, mental illness or disease process.
The world of mental illness is scary for the person and those around them.
to be able to affect a calm in a storm of emotions…..
is something I can try to offer.
One gift is also of, it seems to me, relating to those in a troubled world
… and knowing when to find someone with other life experiences.
One nurse does not know all, help all or cure all.
We all have different life experiences to offer.
I like that despite my faults in decision making, life choices and personal short comings,
my children have turned out to be wonderful and successful adults.
I think I did the best I could every day with what ever the universe tossed at me.
Their children are flourishing.
I love that I come from a long line of women who have lived to 90 or 100 plus…
and I am able to see the perpetuation of my family values in ways I never would have imagined.
Life is not stagnant…it is important to grow with the changes around me.
I must keep up with the times yet keep my core values and beliefs.
The best may be yet to come and I must be ready, not resting on my laurels.
August 1, 2011 at 9:27 pm
Jenna…how kind of you…appreciate you kind words.
☮ ♥. Siggi in Downeast Maine
Pingback: Sending Love | We're Jumpin
August 1, 2011 at 3:30 pm
Loved your letter!! Awesome! and you are powerful 🙂 You can be powerful within and or out. You are a powerful person, through your words, and your writing. You can reach out to others, even if you dont know it. 🙂
July 31, 2011 at 1:45 am
Thank you for your thoughtful response.
I am aware … thru years of therapy and a bout of rehab,
that i was sooo afraid that my parents…mother especially,
would “fire me” (I don’t know why “fire” but that is the word
that has been the core word…thought…if I rebelled and I was
afraid that it would happen and I’d have no where to go.
And it did happen in the last day of June or first day of July, 2000
when my mother called and told me to forbid my daughter to marry
on July 3 because he was from Liberia. I will not repeat the
narrow minded and bigoted remarks she made…and my daughter
was here at the house visiting at the time.
I told my mother that except for skin color, he met all the requirements ofau
a good husband for my daughter and besides, she was 29 years old,
and able to make her own choices. My mother told me if I did not do that
she would never speak to me again, and she didn’t til the day she died.
My parents were registered Lutheran’s but did not believe in God or have
any spiritual beliefs that I know of. My mother told me after a friend had a
stroke that she believed that death was like the stroke her friend had,
one moment alive, then nothing. The friend survived the stroke obviously
to share this with my mother. There were other small hints of non-belief,
over the years, but babies were baptized, because they did believe in following
the rituals that were expected in society.
I took an EFM (Education for Ministry) class with a friend who is very spirtital because
she needed the class to become an Episcopal deacon and they needed one more in
the class ! And a sister of my mother’s took me to Vacation Bible school if I was visiting
when my cousin was attending it. So I had the opposite problem of wondering how
everyone came up with so many different belief systems in the same religion or religions
that taught essentially the same beliefs except for rituals.
Thanks for your kind and thoughtful response. I enjoy “talking” back and forth with you.
☮ ♥. Siggi in Downeast Maine
July 31, 2011 at 12:51 am
Incredibly poignant. It hit a real chord with me when you wrote
“I was brought up to accept without question what ever my parents and others in their families taught me about life and the world. It carried over to school and work at an early age.Teach me well, for I will do what ever it is exactly how you taught me…no free-styling from me.”
Although I’ve always been the rebel and bucked authority every chance I got just to spite those around me and gain some control in a world where I had little, I’ve been taught many things about myself and others that have created havoc in my life. You are already aware of some. Another is how to believe spiritually, and this has had a great grip on me. To question that in my family meant to go against God. It affected me so deeply that I ended up with a full-blown panic disorder because my mind desired to find my own truths, I was growing away from the idea to just ‘accept without question’ what others told me about faith, but it was ingrained so deeply in me the guilt and also fear of God’s wrath and judgment made me physically and mentally sick. Some can have a great impact on others. Your truth and mine should be a lesson that all need to be careful what they teach.