Daily Archives: December 8, 2011

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Musing with Mental Pauses
Part two
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Looking back.
Looking forward.
Life’s changes.
Try to solve
one problem,
find another.
Mental pauses
become mental
dark holes.
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Words.
Words are important.
The correct words…
words you’ve known
forever.
You don’t know
how important
they are
til they slip away.
It’s not the complicated
ones,
just the important ones,
a name,
a place,
a product,
song title.
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It’s normal, you say.
Not always.
There’s a difference
between normal
and this place
I’m in…
I don’t know
the words
to describe it.
The two
sound the
same.
I know the normal
lapses, too.
.
The dark place..
knowing the thought
is “somewhere”,
eventually,
recalling it to use
another day,
or maybe not…
gone forever.
Sometimes,
it takes too long
to surface
…like three in the morning
after the post !
.
Today’s
lost treasures
are gone to some
recess of my mind.
Occasionally,
an anonymous trigger
will send them back.
When I’m writing,
I draw a line
where the lapse
occurred
to fill in later…
maybe…
hoping
for the best.
.
Where
do the words go?
How do they find
their way back?
Will they come back?
Not the hard words.
The easy ones.
Like the title of this
poem.
Slipped away,
popped back in,
went into
hiding again.
It WAS “just right”,
I thought.
Sigh.
.
Relax.
Meditate.
Go on
auto pilot.
Screw the people
that say “no problem”.
It IS A problem.
.
Modern medicine
isn’t always what it is
cracked up to be.
If you listen to the
warnings in
commercials,
you’ll never take
medications
unless absolutely
necessary.
.
Continue with the
medicine…
the doc said.
I DON’T THINK SO.
Two weeks is two weeks
too long already.
I can’t remember
when
that was…
at least a couple of
years ago…
I think.
Could be longer.
But not shorter.
.
I’ve been “reassured”
it’s not dementia
or something
“organic”,
not Alzheimer’s
nor a stroke.
It’s an unfortunate
medication
side-effect.
.
I stopped the med…
the doc understood…
to my relief
my mental lapses
didn’t get any worse.
Not any better.
Thankfully
not any worse..
.
It’s beginning
to be “just me”…
the mental pauses,
in conversation
and writing.
Maybe
it is my payback
in karma
for being
the perfectionist,
hiding
imperfections
too many years !
.
Mental pauses.
Looking back,
Looking forward.
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Post for part one:
Gooseberry Garden
and Inspiration Monday:
December 7, 2011