An Artist, Photographer, Writer, Poet

Tag Archives: 30 Days of Truth

30 Days of  Truth…
Starting July 1, 2011 and ending July 30, 2011

Day 30 – A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

To the Self that Dwells Within,
What are the things I love that make me who I am?
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I try to live a life that follows my value and belief systems.
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I  try to live a life that advocates for those who are not able to speak for themselves.
This is a learned response since I was brought up not to “make a scene” or “draw attention”
to myself.  There are times to speak out and times to be silent and not interfere.
It is an ongoing process and I hope I continue to grow in this area.
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I am persistent…much to the annoyance of many.
(Two bosses, two husbands have used this adjective to describe me.)
Persistence means I don’t give up if I think I am right or a wrong has reared it’s ugly head.
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I am loyal.  (To a fault…that part I don’t like…
I don’t give up on people who I think have best intentions
when in reality they don’t,)
It is better to make a “mistake being loyal than to turn on a misunderstood friend.
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I am a hard worker…and a perfectionist.  Do it correctly or not at all.
Do not compromise one’s values to meet unreasonable requests or deadlines
..shortcuts never produce excellence.
When I was a student nurse,
I over heard an instructor say to one of my classmates
who had charted a blood pressure she had not taken correctly:
 “If you don’t have time to do it correctly the first time,
WHEN ARE you going to have the time?”
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I am curious.  There was a time I wondered how people knew what questions to ask,
how DO they KNOW.
I was brought up to accept without question what ever my parents
and others in their families taught me about life and the world.
It carried over to school and work at an early age.
Teach me well, for I will do what ever it is exactly how you taught me
…no free-styling from me.
I was in awe of people who seemed to know just the questions that I would have had
if I could have thought of them.
I hope now, I am one of the people who ask THE questions that others wish they could ask.
I was in awe of people who knew how to question and argue, and make decisions for themselves.
That I over came that, is what I like about myself.
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I share what I know.  Why keep knowledge and life experience to oneself
when you can help others with life or work and make things easier for them.
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I am able to understand and communicate with the confused, demented and bewildered,
be it from aging, injury, mental illness or disease process.

The world of mental illness is scary for the person and those around them.

to be able to affect a calm in a storm of emotions…..
is something I can try to offer.
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One gift is also of, it seems to me, relating to those in a troubled world
… and knowing when to find someone with other life experiences.
One nurse does not know all, help all or cure all.
We all have different life experiences to offer.
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I like that despite my faults in decision making, life choices and personal short comings,
my children have turned out to be wonderful and successful adults.
I think I did the best I could every day with what ever the universe tossed at me.
Their children are flourishing.
I love that I come from a long line of women who have lived to 90 or 100 plus…
and I am able to see the perpetuation of my family values in ways I never would have imagined.
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Life is not stagnant…it is important to grow with the changes around me.
I must keep up with the times yet keep my core values and beliefs.
The best may be yet to come and I must be ready, not resting on my laurels.
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30 Days of  Truth…

Day 29 – Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.


I want to have a more active life…
something loosely planned for every day to not let time get away.
At my stage of life…retirement, and 67, it would be very easy to
let days, weeks go by and find out the time was without meaningful
activity.
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So far, I have five days with part of the day doing something meaningful for me:
Sunday:  Church
Monday:  Vagabonds painting group…plein aire when possible (9 am to noon)
                   Everybody Eats…4pm…several of us from the writing group meet
                    and share a meal at a local church…
                    payment is by donation if one can afford it.
                    Meals are family style and one gets to meet others in the community
                   …the conversations are lively and sometimes we close the place ☺.
Tuesday:  Writing group…at Senior Center across the street  (9 am to noon)
Wednesday:  Portrait painting group…Blue Hill, Maine (9:30 am to noon)
Thursday:  
Friday:  Vagabonds painting group, Somesville, ME (9 to noon)
Saturday:

Each group has lunch together…optional, but bonding.

I’d like to have a casual structure to my afternoons…exercising at the Y needs to be added in, and
to be sure the every day things get done or time is spent constructively like getting out to the Maine Grind to write
or to one of the park areas to paint
…unless a nap is in order !
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One of the enemies of aging is frittering time away day after day….
and not making younger friends since loss of friends is another factor of aging…
without younger friends, soon you could be without the mental stimulation of friends.
(and for me Beano or Bingo…four letter words….destructive to my mental well being ☺.)
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I am prone to agoraphobia… staying isolated, avoiding groups of people, crowds and depression.  
That is why I chose these things as something to improve…it would be very easy for me to drop each activity and
stay home without contact with other people.  
Being very hard of hearing, phone conversations are almost impossible.
It would be very easy for me to become invisible in the community as I do not have family here.
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30 Days of  Truth…2011
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Day 24 – Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs.

(Just post the titles and artists and letter)

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I don’t know the songs to play for Jennifer.
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Eric Clapton would be at the head of the list,
Maybe Tears on my Pillow.
Starry Starry night.
and all her favorite blues songs.
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Jfef,
I know it is a sad day
 when someone doesn’t know what songs 
would soothe the sadness of a sister of the heart and soul.
I don’t know what it is like to be in your situation,
possibly saying a final goodbye to a second sister.
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I want you to play the songs that remind you of J3
and tell the stories that come to your mind 
…like the “Ginet” story 
and your travels.  
I won’t grow weary hearing them…
and won’t grow weary if you play the same songs
over and over.  
Or get up and dance spontaneously.  
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I am honored to be part of your fb “family”
there is very little that brings tears to my eyes,
but that did…
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I wish I could remember names of tunes and performers
….esp. those that would give you some measure of comfort.

☮  ♥.  Sgigi


This is a no brainer…

I would not have left a friend angry…it would be very rare.

If it happened this way, I’d be at that person’s side immediately.

Please, never leave someone angry,

and always say “I love you” when parting…even for a short time….

even when parting angry.

 

 

 


A victim of the heat yesterday when I tried to get my thoughts together.  I did reply to Jenna’s post and will include those in these thoughts…This is one area I have definite ideas and beliefs and don’t have to search to express them, just keep my words down to a reasonable length.

As a RN I have seen first hand the effects of drugs,

including marijuana, long term on the body and the mind.

The damage to the body and mind is irreparable to the user,

and when a mother takes drugs while pregnant

there is horrendous permanent damage to the fetus….

seeing an infant detox has to be the most heart breaking moment in someone’s life.

Seeing a person detox from prescription drugs

is just as heart breaking as detoxing from illegal drugs.

.

My personal experience of seeing a person detox from prescription drugs was Xanax,

and it was in a rehab center where I spent six weeks…

The Meadows in Wickenburg AZ….

one week longer than the usual five

because I was not able to identify anger

in my own thoughts and behavior.

I was in the rehab center because of

Post traumatic stress

and

“work-a-holism”…

I could not let go of trying to be perfect

at a job where it was impossible

to be perfect when counting on others

to do their jobs “perfectly”

when I had no control over the behavior of others.

While there,

I was diagnosed with “emerging agoraphobia”

…my life….

outside of work, where I was totally functional….

I was paralyzed by fear of going anywhere alone…

my life was church … work…home. and Repeat.

Sorry for the digression,

but I think the explanation

of my experience at a well-known rehab center

shows why I have some of the views I do on alcohol

and drugs.

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Addiction to prescription drugs is also a heart breaking event to the person,

family and community.

It invites the person to go to any means to obtain

the medications that are increasingly difficult to obtain

due to monitoring of prescribing and dispensing of the medications.

Alcohol is also a serious drug that causes damage to the body and the mind…

and to the family and community.

The fact that alcohol is often mixed with drugs is particularly dangerous

and I needn’t spend a lot of time on the dangers of drinking and driving.

My one point I want to make on this is

that I think everyone needs to develop a backbone

when it comes to taking the keys away

from an impaired driver.

I had to learn that myself,

being one to back away from social confrontations

and not wanting to “make a scene”.

Recently I have noticed how seriously

people who are “designated drivers”

take their role.

I am proud of them…

it takes vigilance when out with others

to be sure that your drinks are not spiked…

I make sure I pour my own non-alcoholic drinks

or bring my own and guard it.

There is some quirk of some peoples thinking

that it is their “duty” to convince the DDrivers

or those who don’t drink because of alcoholism

or just don’t drink,

to have “just one” drink.

I don’t mince words with these people…

used to try to be polite,

but they seem to be determined

to undermine the non-drinkers.

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There is definite damage to the body from

drinking.

The effects vary from person to person,

but it is heart breaking to see the disease process

and/or alcohol dementia.

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A shout out to my friend, Jennifer, who celebrates 18 years sobriety  7/21/2011.

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I realize that my views are “old fashioned” in many ways,

especially on marijuana,

which I do not feel is a harmless drug

as many do.

I feel that it is important to express these views.

And, I do want to let others know that it is also from personal

experience with prescription drugs that doctors “back in the day”

prescribed to keep me “functional” versus recommending

a life style change,

and that I come from a family that has alcoholism in their history

and that I was on the road to some serious drinking with alcoholic

written all over it,

when I became ill and stopped “for medicinal purposes”

(I  I HAD to use that phrase…my great-aunt had a glass of wine

every evening for “medicinal purposes” … this is the first time

I can remember it flowing in so nicely to a sentence ☺.)

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My dishwasher.

My dishwasher used to be me.

Then one year, for my birthday,

long, long ago, I wanted a vacuum cleaner.

A nice one.

So, what was I given?

An electric dishwasher.

I never really appreciated it until one day,

it stopped working.

For a while,

I decided to wash my own dishes,

but they never seemed squeeky clean anymore.

So I called the handy dandy repairman,

and for a cheap part and a more expensive service call,

I was back washing my dishes “clean” again.

So,

Dishwasher it is.

Shallow as it is.

It is what it is.  Needed.
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BUT
In and Emergency
I love a man
with dishpan hands.


30 Days of  Truth…Starting July 1, 2011

Day 14 – A hero that has let you down. (letter)

 
Dear Columbo…
I loved your dashing ways with the rumpled coat, the great delivery.
The world needed you to solve more cases,
put a way more creeps…with those “one more thing….”
leading statements.
I always wanted to be able to have a delivery of language the way you did.
Your eye was false, mine “lazy”,
but I just never could do that great suspenseful presentation of words.
As a boss I envied you…
I could have eliminated so many bad employees that way 
and avoided paying a lot of unemployment to the undesireables of the world.

Why did you leave me?  I still need to master the craft of masterful delivery.

I know you are now enchanting the angels…
they are blessed to have you while I am blue.

Sincerely,
Your friend in Maine

Remembering dear friend, Bill Clark, Columbo’s brother from another mother.